I received an email this morning from someone I follow in the fitness industry…and it got me kinda riled up, not gonna lie! It said the email was from “turkey neck skin” and tbh I thought it was straight-up spam that I was gonna have a good chuckle over before deleting forever, until I realized…this is a “legit” email from someone apparently selling health and fitness 😖

One of the first lines was “if you’re someone who indulges in self-care”….and my hackles. were. UP.

EXCUSE ME?

Nevermind that I think the remainder of the email went on to “sell” something meant to “fix” something about your appearance – I was already on the fence about this person, but needless to say I will be unsubscribing right quick because none of us need this kind of negativity in our lives nevermind delivered straight to the most sacred of places – our inboxes 😉 (quick internet/social media pro-tip: if someone makes you feel bad or like you need to “fix” yourself – hit that unsubscribe/unfollow/unfriend button ASAP!!)

But let’s back right up to that lil nugget about “indulging” in self-care as a means to “fix” something that our (broken) culture has decided is “wrong” with you.

Trust me, it’s not you – it’s the culture.

Let’s start with this:

Self-care is not an indulgence, it’s your birthright as a living, breathing, conscious entity alive in this universe.

It’s literally the CARE for YOURSELF.

It’s the root of all worthiness, safety, health, and happiness you’ll experience in your lifetime.

Unfortunately most of us aren’t told how important this is, and so we’re led to live with shitty inner mean girl voices, put others’ needs before our own, people please, self-deprecate, and burn ourselves out because we think it’s an “indulgence” to simply care for ourselves.

And can I just say…that’s a LOT of bullshit to be saddled with.

Just like I don’t need the negativity of the email that set me off this morning in my life anymore…neither do you need any of this nonsense in yours.

Self-care is a basic need, not an indulgence, and most of the time the self-care of true value is completely free.

Self-care is healthy habits and routines like:

• Getting enough sleep, regularly
• Paying attention to your self-talk and thought patterns, doing what you can to detach from and rewire the negative ones
• Some kind of meditation, mindfulness, spiritual practice or quiet/alone time like walking or yoga or even a household task done quietly
• Knowing what you need, and asking for it (especially support from others)
• Noticing what causes you worry, anxiety, upset, or mental health struggles and educating yourself on how to cope/change/receive appropriate support
• Regularly moving your body and eating well to the best of your ability
• Keeping the spaces you inhabit clean and tidy (Marie Kondo is a hit for a reason!!)
• Being aware of how much time you spend on social media and how it makes you feel (unfollow what feels bad, cannot stress this one enough!!!!)

Honestly, the most important one is just paying attention to what goes on in your mind – how you talk to yourself, how you react to other people and situations, and the expectations you have of yourself.

Just…be nice to yourself. Cut yourself some slack.

If you’re like “whoa, there’s a lot on that list and sometimes adulting is hard and I just need to take a bath,” honor that too.

The first rule of self-care is that it’s care for yourself and that also means not piling on any extra guilt or bad vibes if you didn’t “get self-care right.”

Let that shit go too.

Remember, you’re more than your meatsuit. You’re the mysteriously animated consciousness associated with your meatsuit in this lifetime, and you get to care for both of those things in whatever way feels best to you.

Care for yourself. Love yourself. It’s 100% necessary.

I love you!