I want to share a lesson with you today that I think is one of the most important and valuable things I’ve ever learned. It literally cost me thousands of dollars (and many years)…but you get it right now for free because I just want you to know and implement it as soon as possible.
The lesson is this: trust yourself.
Trust your gut, your intuition, and your ability to make the best choices and know what is right for you, always.
If you really, really want to change, grow or achieve any kind of true, lasting happiness, meaning, fulfillment, or success in your life…you need to learn how to really trust, support, love, and back yourself.
No one else can do it for you, and if you don’t fully trust your own ability to make choices or take action in service of your own highest good…anything outside of yourself that you can buy, learn, or achieve ain’t worth shit.
Let me explain what I mean:
Say you want to start a business around your art or passion, but you’re not sure exactly how to do that yet. So you look around and see other people succeeding in the ways you want to. Making money. Sharing their creations with the world, getting glowing feedback, having an impact on people’s lives and apparently loving every second of it.
And best part of it all? Some of these people are ALSO selling courses, books, products, or coaching to teach YOU how to do what they’ve done! They’ll share all their secrets with you, so you can be a “success” too! OMG!
(Note: I’m using the example of a business here, but this also goes for someone selling spiritual transformation, healing, a fitness or nutrition program – literally anything that will “improve” some aspect of your life.)
So, you buy their program, aka their “secrets.”
And you implement all the steps they give you, for the duration of the program/book/course/relationship you have with them.
And some things in your situation “improve.”
But you also find yourself doubting if this will really work for you.
Are you meant for this success? This transformation? This happiness?
You do the things you’ve learned, but wonder if you’ve done enough. If you’ve missed something. You get distracted, enthusiasm wanes, you second guess yourself, get busy, go back to your old habits.
Maybe that just wasn’t the thing for you. Maybe there’s another secret that this other expert is teaching that will really get you where you need to go.
So you pick up a new book or course, start following a new path and think this is it, finally, the real secrets I needed.
If you guessed at this point that this cycle just keeps repeating (or know from your own experience that it does ?)…you would be correct.
Here’s the thing.
Until what you really learn is that there is no “secret” outside of yourself, you’ll keep repeating this cycle.
Until what you really learn is that you can (and should) always trust yourself, your intuition, and your own gut feeling above everything else, you’ll keep repeating this cycle.
I’m not saying you can’t learn from other people, have a guide, way-shower or community to support you along the way. All of those things are incredibly valuable. We need knowledge, skills, and sometimes even a roadmap.
What I am saying is no one (or no thing) else holds “the secret” that will lead to your success, happiness, or transformation (and if they seem to be suggesting you can only get this non-existent “secret” from them – please run away quickly.)
You don’t need a “guru” or even a “religion” to help you access the spiritual, especially.
What you need is the trust in your own abilities to access the part of you that is “more than a meatsuit.”
There’s an awareness in you that is observing your experiences, right now. You can trust it.
It’s your “higher self.”
It’s your intuition, and inner wisdom, that always knows the right thing to do in a situation. That knows whether a person or choice or action is “right” for you before your thinking mind does.
You always have access to these things, to this wisdom, and it will help you have all the confidence you’ll ever need to direct your life however you want it to go.
The best practice you can ever cultivate for yourself, is tuning in to what your higher self has to say to you, learning how it speaks to you, and trusting those messages when they come up.
Practice getting in touch with these aspects of yourself, trusting yourself, to love and back yourself and stand in your own power.
This is one of my favourite things to help people with, because I don’t want you to just trust me (I mean, you can)…more importantly, I want you to trust YOU.
I’ve spent THOUSANDS of dollars and hours on retreats, courses, trainings, coaches, and experiences in search of personal transformation, spiritual transformation, creative transformation and success….and while it was all part of the puzzle and I’m grateful for all of it, it didn’t really “click” until I realized the missing piece – that I was trusting my various teachers and the knowledge they held more than I was trusting myself.
They all paved a path for me, but I’ve experienced more depth of growth in a year without a “teacher” other than the trust in myself to connect to my own inner knowing and awareness, to follow my intuition and guidance.
A lack of trust in yourself can look like:
- Second-guessing your choices and decisions
- Feeling perpetually or frequently “confused” about something, or what to do next
- Thinking “who am I to do xyz” or having “imposter syndrome”
- Searching for more information, education, or planning before you feel like you can begin something new
- Procrastinating
When you can easily access, and become familiar with how your intuition speaks to you, or develop a relationship with your “higher self” you’ll feel like you can trust your choices and decisions, and move much more quickly, and with ease, through projects, transitions, and even little things in daily life.
I don’t want to say it’s magic – but it’s kind of magic, when you trust and support yourself.
Hear this: you never truly make a “mistake” in life, you are just doubting the choices that led you to where you are on your path when you feel this way.
In any moment, we are always doing what we think is “best” for us, it’s just that sometimes this comes from our ego-and-fear-driven thinking mind, instead of our “higher self” which has a greater perspective and knows what is truly best for our highest good.
When you learn to connect with your higher self, you can access this next-level guidance when you have a choice to make (big or little) and feel confident that you’re doing what is for your highest good and not based in fear (and everything that drives that.)
There’s a 3-step process I love to use to access my higher self wisdom, when I have a question I want an answer to, a choice to make, or just feel a little scattered in general and want to get my shit together (pro-tip: higher self always feels like “shit together!”)
Three Step Process to Access Higher Self Guidance
- Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Make you inhales + exhales the same length, and hold the breath in at the top, and out at the bottom for a moment. Repeat for at least a minute or two to calm the nervous system and turn down the noise of the thinking mind.
- Place your hand on your heart centre, and take a few of these same breaths “through” your heart, with the intention you are connecting to your higher self.
- When you feel a calm, peaceful energy surrounding yourself – ask your higher self any specific question you may have, or just ask “is there anything I need to know right now?” And then listen to whatever bubbles up. This is your guidance – go with whatever comes up first, and trust it! Repeat this or any other questions you may have until you feel satisfied, thank yourself for the guidance – and you’re done!
This process can take as little or as much time as you’d like, depending on how much guidance you want, or how chatty your higher self is feeling!
If it feels weird, or like you’re not receiving any “guidance” or information at first – keep trying, and notice how any messages may be coming.
Some people literally hear words, or their own voice in their mind, some have a strong feeling of what to do, or you may even see images or have a song pop into your head.
Because this is YOU communicating with YOU, if you spend the time I promise you’ll be able to interpret the guidance that comes.
If you’d like to go deeper with this practice to really dive in deep with the trusting yourself, and tapping into that glorious “got my shit together” feeling, I’ve created a 15 minute guided higher self meditation that walks you through this whole process, and guides you on a few additional questions to ask for even deeper guidance and transformation.
Enter your email below to grab the meditation, and you’ll also get a short 3-day e-course on how to deepen this higher self connection even further.
It’s one of the most valuable practices you’ll ever develop, and I can’t wait for you to discover the joys of really getting to know and trust yourself.